Friday, June 10, 2011

My Husband: The Father

My husband: Steve. I love him so much. I have been truly blessed to me married to a delightful man. Quirky, yes...sarcastic, definitely...but wonderful. Despite all this I found myself in a bit of a moral dilemma during my 9 months of pregnancy. A question that kept plaguing me each time I would stare at him: "Was he going to be a good father?" By this point I knew there was no turning back. Nore would I have wanted to. We both wanted this, but I was about to coast uncharted waters. This was a man I had been with for 10 years, an entire decade. I had seen every angle of him. From his skinny rock guitar days, to his green mohawk phase, from his McD's manager moments, to his lab geek years. I had seen him transform into a boyfriend, a university graduate, a husband, provider, the leader of our pack but this? Was he ready? Was I ready to sail with him into this new role?

It almost came to blows when I brought home birthing books and videos: "Would you watch this with me?" "No thanks." "Why not?" "Are you kidding? I want no part of that." I was so ticked. This was his baby too. Did he not want to experience the miracle of birth? Clearly not. "That is a sacred area, Hun! I just can't see that." I put myself in Steve's shoes and eventually I got where he was coming from. But at the time, I questioned the very foundation of what his parental involvement would look like.

When Natalie Anne came into the world on February 26th, 2011, I saw a side of Steve I had never witnessed before. As he held his little girl, a look of total bliss washed across his face. She was his legacy and he was overjoyed. He walked the hospital halls with a strut like a rooster or something. It was like he'd won the lottery. As I looked my husband holding our daughter I realized that he was the one that was glowing now.

Natie is 3 months now and Steve took to fatherhood like a duck to water. I mean it. It was amazing to watch. He stepped up to the plate and has done everything he can for her. He bathes her, reads to her, changes her, sings to her, laughs with her, educates her, kisses and hugs her. It's incredible. I realize now that I could not have picked a more perfect fit. Sure he is not always 100% but neither am I. Natie is baby #1, our little experiment, the trial and error kid as we were with our folks. I don't know how fatherhood will look on Steve when Natie's 20 but I anticipate many more years of learning, laughing, and other parental shenanigans with him.    

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