This past weekend I broke my wrist. There's no glamour story behind how I did it, I simple fell down my stairs. I had never broken a bone before this little incident. Never! So as a highly active Mom I had no idea what I was in for. In the past 5 days I have discovered a whole lot about what it takes to deal with a busted arm and baby. I thought I'd share my frustrations...? Obstacles...? Overall revelations!
1. When you break a bone, you know it! It's not like "Ouch! My wrist is sore. Oh I think I'll take an aspirin; that should fix it." No! It's more along the lines of..."Oh $#!%, My wrist is on fire, I heard a crunch, cry for your Mommy" type of experience... okay well maybe it's not that dramatic but mine was. I think the last time I cried that hard was when I was 12. I forced to sell Barbie collection at a family yard sale. It was a tragic day.
2. Typing with one hand is brutal. It is painfully slow. If you even think about adding punctuation it takes you twice as long...so I am now resorting to a one handed, lower-case slopfest. Wait for it...
3. when they tell you casts get itchy they mean it/ they also may start to spell funny/like stinky duds fresh from the gym/it's gross/
4. taking care of a baby with a broken wrist is next to impossible for the first few days/ you can't pull the little diaper tab with a busted thumb/ zippers are impossible and forget buckles/ giving your kid a bottle is agonizing not to mention lying them in their crib/ trying to pick them up for the first time is so awkward/ imagine a baby colt trying to walk for the first time/ not pretty/
5. showering with a plastic bag on your hand is in no way like showering with a shower cap on/
6. helpful advice/ if in the event you might break your wrist or fingers, take off your rings/ they will swell and cutting them off sucks/
7. milkshakes help deal with the pain/and booze/
8. ask for help/ i have had to stay with my in-laws for the week and it had made a world of difference/ if i had to deal with my daughter and a broken arm on my own I would probably spend the week crying/
9. HGTV is also a great healing regiment/
10. if you are married people will ask you what your husband looks like after your break/ this is a joke and is not meant to be taken seriously/
11. i never did understand why we use slag such as a busted flipper or broken wing/ it wakes me feel like I'm one fracture away from being inducted into the animal kingdom/
12. if you live in a house without a railing/ insist your landlord/ no matter how moronic he may seem/ install it asap/
13. it's amazing what an elbow can accomplish/ i recommend you thank your elbows for being so awesome today/ go ahead/
14. having people write on your cast is hugely overrated/ unless the person has some mad graffiti or haiku skills/ in that case/ bring it on/
15. bottom line/ 4-6 weeks is a long time/ boo/
hope this has been informative/humorous/overall not a royal waste of your time/
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