The Evolution of Pregnancy Cravings

Ode to food, how great you are. I don't think I can put into words how much I love food. It is one of the most amazing gifts from God and I am so thankful for it. But I must admit, pregnancy has brought out some pretty crazy truths about my love relationship with food.

As I climb the pregnancy mountain, I feel as though my food cravings have evolved just as much as my mood and body has. In my first trimester, all I wanted to eat was fruit and steak. That was it. One night after work, I had such a hankering for steak I made Steve take me out for some. As he was sitting over his pasta dish, jaw dropped; there I was pounding back a 10 oz steak blissfully. I ate a lot of cow that day. And don't even get me started on the fruit. I would make a huge fruit salad every week and almost always eat the entire thing. As I entered into my second trimester, my days of steak and fruit slowly dwindled.

Trimester 2! A few months ago, I woke up and was overwhelmed with the desire for a glass of milk. Now typically, I don't drink milk. You've got to twist my arms in order to get me to drink milk, unless you put a cookie in front of me and then its game over.  Anyways by the end of that day I drank a bag of 1% milk to myself. Steve was a little grossed out at first and now he thinks I've broken some kind of record. We go through 2 3 L bags of milk in a week and I am sad to say, it is mostly my fault. 

On behalf of pregnant women everywhere, I want to salute you Subway for producing a truly remarkable sandwich in your new Flatbreads. If you have not gone to Subway and tried the new flatbread sandwich, you are missing out. Oh my goodness, so good. Subway has been my fast food vice during this second round.

For years, I have had one major enemy in the food world: coffee! You may find this ironic as I worked for Groundswell Coffeehouse for 2 years but it's true. I don't know why I dislike coffee so much, I just do. However due to the magic of pregnancy, I have somehow fallen madly in love with decaf coffee. One of my fellow co-workers bought me a cup during a rather long day and BAM! Now I’m hooked. 

Gone are my pre-pregnancy days of ice cream cravings I thought I would never get over. I think this has been the biggest food shocker for me. Aside from the random Smartie McFlurry, I have not touched ice cream. Weird...right?

So that's it. Salt is still my dearest friend which is probably not a good thing but hey, whatever. I am just grateful that I have not had any crazy cracked out cravings like peanut butter and pickles or cookies with lamb kabobs. But, I still have another 3 months to go. Pray for me.  

The Dreaded 3

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed. I felt great and it seemed as if nothing would ever change that. Until I walked right into the hormonal throws of my first trimester. I can't remember when it all started but think Peru had something to do with it. When I was about 6 weeks pregnant, I was called off on a Mission Trip to Peru. Everything was fine for me until about day 3. All of a sudden I started to feel tired 24/7. I started to get dizzy for no reason. I began to experience nausea like I never had before. To add some context, there are 2 things you should know about me: 1) I am a go getter and so very few things can slow me down and 2) I hate being sick. I'm talking pukie sick. I think in my whole life I have thrown up 6 times and it is because my body literally forced it out. I hate to up chuck, it's the worst. So you can imagine how freaked out I was when it seemed like my whole world was flying out of control in a span of 3 days. I remember working on a construction site chiselling floor and thinking to myself, "Just don't throw up." I must say that the food did not help. Typically I would have devoured my entire plate but under these new circumstances almost everything I ate made me sick. The only exception was a steak house we went to one night. I was sitting around a huge table with about 40 other fellow Christians when they brought out a huge steak dinner. I dived right in a finished that steak in record time. As I enjoyed I could hear myself saying over and over again "Thank you Jesus". It was that good, at least to me. I ended up eating 2 and half huge pieces of steak that night. I did not eat the fries just about 8 pounds of steak, and it was so worth it. When I got home to Canada, I stepped on a scale and realized I had lost 13 pounds. By this point, I was about 8 weeks pregnant and my illness that developed in Peru did not slow down. Work became a nightmare. I would be in the middle of helping a dear old man try to find a good western when all of a sudden, OH NO. I would have to excuse myself and run (literally) to the bathroom. I called in sick so many times during that first trimester, I lost count. One day Steve came home from work and found me on the couch crying. I was almost 12 weeks pregnant and I told him how I felt like a failure. I felt so undependable and useless. I was convinced I was going to lose my job and there was nothing I could do about it. Then, just like that scene in Forest Gump when the rain stops, so did my morning sickness. I could not believe it. I felt amazing, energized. Since then I haven't looked back. So if you are one of those women who went through your first 3 months of pregnancy without a care in the world, urgh to you. I would never wish it upon anyone. But if you were like me, you just have to suck it up and barrel through the dreaded 3. It will get better, I promise.

Why Bookworm Mommy?

I have always been a closet bookworm. I think growing up it was never something I liked to admit, but it's true. If you ask my mom she'll tell you that most of my weeknights as a pre-teen were spent at our local library. I often felt like Matilda making my way through the children's fiction, then adult. Before I knew it I was embedded in any piece of non-fiction I could get my hands on. To this day, it's still my favourite. I had friends (don't get me wrong), but I felt books gave me something that in most cases my friends could not and that's knowledge.

Throughout my pregnancy I have poured over countless books that have either been passed on to me or that I have stumbled across. I was a little overwhelmed at first. I could not believe how much information and options were provided to me. Since then I've wrested with topics on fertility, weight gain, nutrition, embryo development, postpartum depression, miscarriage, midwifery, doula coaching, labour, delivery, recovery and wow. Back in May, I was scared out of my mind to tackle anything on this subject. But now I honestly say that getting informed was one of the best decisions I could have made. I know that I am still incredibly naive but at least knowing a bit about the storm before it hits makes preparing for it a lot easier to anticipate. Bookworm signing off.

And the pink plus sign means what?!

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. It was like any other day really, but I had the day off. There was only one thing I wanted to do, relax. Steve headed off to work and I was left to my own devices. The whole week I just felt like something was different. Something wrong with the car? No. Did I forget someone’s birthday? No. What could it be? I looked at my calendar and quickly realized what it was. I was late. So plans of girly movies and cookie baking were put on hold as I booked it to our local shoppers. As I entered the pharmacy, I felt like everyone knew why I was there. Of course they didn't, I was being paranoid, but I got that feeling most girls get when you're forced to buy sanitary products for the first time. All you want to do is pay and pray you're not recognized, at least that's how I felt. I stared at the wide variety of pregnancy tests and began comparing prices when the rational part of my brain kicked in and yelled "just grab something, woman." So I opted for the 3 pack and I'm glad I did. When I got home I read all the directions and thought "ok, so just pee and wait. Easy enough." I did just that and those 3-5 minutes feel like eternity. I told myself I would not peek until the time was out. When I approached the test I was so nervous, why? I don't know. I looked down and saw what I thought was a pale pink plus sign. Ummm... In that moment I totally forgot what I had read in the instructions. I fished them out of the garbage and gasped. Noooooo. That can't be right. I ran to the fridge and gulp down at least 20 fluid oz of water and waited. 20 minutes later. I held the second test and could not believe it. It was as clear as day. I was pregnant. I started down at my belly and could not believe it. This part of me that was once filled with leftover meatloaf now held my first child. I could not think of anything else all day long. This was about noon. I had to wait 4 more hours before Steve came home. How would I tell him? What would he say? After an hour of deliberating I decided I would make Steve a nice dinner and surprise him with the test. And that's exactly what I did. I still remember giving Steve the box. I think he thought it was a watch or something. Layers and layers of tissue paper finally revealed the sobering truth. He looked down and went blank. "I'm pregnant." He just kept his head down processing what he just heard. I was a little worried. But shock turned to excitement in the span of a minute. He looked up at me and smiled. I've never seen him smile like that before or since. We just held each other and laughed. It was a surreal experience, but I don't think I could have planned it any better.

My Mission?

I have always loved to write. For no one in particular, just me. Having the freedom to put my thoughts to paper has always felt so gratifying. It's like emptying out an old dresser or finally cleaning out the glove compartment, it just helps. I work as a small town librarian surrounded by the same people everyday. I must be a yokel at heart, because I love it. I love the sounds and the smells. I love the same old boring routine everyday. I never want to be a Carrie Bradshaw or a Miranda Priestly, just an Anne Shirley (minus the whole orphan thing). I am getting off topic. Anyways, I was working one afternoon sorting through parenting books when a bundle of handwritten notes fell out of one of them. I knelt down and pick them up. In bright pink writing, there were letters written by a young mother to her unborn daughter. I thought to myself, "Writing to your unborn child, really?" And then it happened. I had a flash forward image of this poor woman pouring her heart out to a kid who very well might grow up to be an ungratefully little brat. I thought "What's the point?" God certainly has an interesting sense of humour because 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. Being the only pregnant librarian in my town is quite unusual. As you may have guessed, all my coworkers are woman and the majority are over the age of 50. I feel most of the time that I am getting advice from 12 different versions of my mom. I think that's another reason why I love my job so much, it's like a family.  Off topic again. I guess you could say this woman and her letters inspired me to do the same. Not write love letters to my little androgynous baby or anything like that, just write. So that's my mission. 

And so it begins

Why does anyone start blogging? It is a legitimate question. I set out on this written project not really knowing what I was going to get out of it. I think there has always been a part of me, the creative part that has been brushed under the rug of my career, marriage, and social life. This morning I work up and thought, "I have something to say". I know most of the time no one really wants to hear it, but I think just getting it out makes all the difference.